Kukki Loli Hime

Reflection in Ithaca (Part I)

Sun, 12 Aug 2007 05:56:32 GMT

As I sit here at my new desk and my empty dorm room, I think about how this summer has been and all of the things I did...the longest post I'm probably going to make, so prepare (it will be in a series, today's will be super short because I am SWAMPED).

1) Arriving to Ithaca- I actually became overcome with excitement when I saw all of the familar buildings that I am so used to seeing on the way up here. It was a very nice trip, I took a loooong nap in the car and of course, both of my sisters were there so it was the usual- sillyness, sleep, more sillyness, BR break, eating and blah-di-blah.
When we got to the room, we hung out a bit and Shanti did my hair and she also took a nap. They spent about 2 hours with me before they left. Seeing them go actually made me sadder than I thought it would...I will really miss them and my Mom. TT__TT. I must remember that this is NOT the first time I have done this sooo, I kind of need to stop my madness! lol! I wish they could've stayed the night though...it would've been super fun!
I eventually began to unpack which took me about 4 or 5 hours because I became overwhelmed, with the 10 boxes from storage and 5 suitcases. I REALLY need to stop with all these clothes and things! It actually doesnt take up as much space as one would think, my drawers arent even full to the max. I also decided to take my time a little bit, so as not to stress myself out about how things were going to fit and how my room would be arranged. All is well now and I am ridiculously tired, I think I may hit the hay soon. My day with Ordinary People doesnt start until 1:30pm so, I will have A LOT of sleep. I must savor it because thats definitely not going to happen once the semester kicks off! Maysoon is coming tomorrow! woot! Pamela is already here and Varun shall arrive on Monday. So, I wont be alone for toooo long. -__~

Well, hi-ho, hi-ho, it's off to bed I go!

Oyasumi!

-__-zzzz

Guitar Hero II

Sat, 04 Aug 2007 06:05:12 GMT

Guitar Hero II has been dominating my life for the past few days...I was obsessed with it during mid-summer and the obsession has returned during my last week at home. I would bring my PS2 and TV with me but, I know it will probably distract me and not help with my studies. I MUST complete my Jak 3 game before I leave as well.
My sister told me to give up on getting my permit, as it is waaaay too late so, I'm a little glad. Plus, we will have an extra driver this time around. I will probably ask my sisters to keep me company for a few hours before they head out on the road again.
I just started doing sit-ups this week (I should've started earlier) to get rid of this little belly that developed over the school year. I will be doing TONS of walking this semester and lots of physical activities, so I will regain my original appearance.
I also am going to practice my Japanese before the school year starts, as there is a Japanese nurse that has brought me worksheets on Hiragana and Katakana. Sooo excited about this but, first things first- I have to finish memorizing my lines before next Sunday. I've already started so no worries for me. It also doesn't take me too long to memorize anything. If I can commit song lyrics and 15 minute speeches to memory, then why can't I do the same for a few lines. The lines also do not have to be exact so that gives me extra leeway. There is no absolutely NO excuse as to why my lines should'nt be engraved in my brain by next Sunday.

So...maybe I should get to it! lol!

Oyasuminasai!!! ^__~

Hershey Park

Sun, 29 Jul 2007 06:41:14 GMT

Epinephrine...adrenaline...the only natural drug. Whatever you might call it...I was on it...ALL day today! I went to Hershey Park today and it was definitely the most fun I've had in awhile, next to the Harry Potter Festival and my weekend in Boston.

I went on EVERY SINGLE rollercoaster except for the Comet. My favorite coaster was Rolling Thunder, because it was so quick, intense and it gave me the biggest A-rush of my life (well maybe not because of snowboarding). Speaking of snowboarding, I got my bindings mounted on them (woot)! The park was really fun besides the roller coasters. I went on a few of the regular rides and ate some funnel cake and dippin dots. Yummo!

The trip back was a little long but I slept most of the way and now I'm home! and so is my Okasan! She was given permission to spend the night at home with us, so I'm excited. I get to spend some time with her before I leave! :-)
Anyway, I'm really tired and should go to bed, which I probably won't because me and Mom will just be up talking the night away! lol!

Oyasumi!

-__-

2.5 Weeks Til my D(readful)-Day

Wed, 25 Jul 2007 06:28:01 GMT

Wow!! I dont believe summer is almost over (at least for me) seeing that I am going back a week early. What's funny is that when a month had passed since my return from school, I was wishing for my return back to it.   Now that time has suddenly sped up on me, I want to take my wish back. I am starting to realize how short our summer break really is. I would've thought that the summer would have dragged on considering I never found a job. Maybe it was in God's "plan" to allow me to use this summer as a reflective period and to seriously consider what I want in both my short and long term future.
So, here's what I have come up with (some cliches will follow):

a. Keep a journal (as I am now), thank goodness for this site b/c keeping a "physical" bound journal is hard for me, as I only collect them and only write for a few pages. At first, my goal in joining this site was to just get more info on the EGL fashion, which I have, and that's it. But, I actually find myself using this site to its full potential and I become eager to post more and more, so I'm glad for myself!

b. Enjoy my courses as much as I can since I actually chose them based on my interests.

c. Become a bookwarm again! I've made a vow to myself that I will not purchase anymore books until I read every book that I own...that's a lot of reading. I feel as though I am creating too many excuses as to why I dont read anymore...its disappointing ans disgusting. I must make time to read and I will make time.

d. Re-visit the creativity that I was once so passionate about. Why have I stopped drawing, writing short stories and poetry??? It's the same situation as with my sudden stop in reading. I did draw a few things last semester and took a short cartooning class, so that helped me to get started...

e. Be proactive in terms of academics, extracurriculars and personal aspects of my life.

f. No more waiting for things to come to me like the spoiled brat that I still am, I've been waaaay too spoiled in my life and never realized it until now. Everything has been handed to me on a silver platter and its time to become independent!

g. Finally, live life to the fullest and do things that I enjoy without feeling regret.

I also made a list in one of my many bound journals of all the series I must finish reading before I die. Speaking of dying, when I was watching Adult Swim (as usual), I saw the ad for their game "5 mins to Kill Yourself." BEST GAME EVER!!! It's sooo funny and gory! I know that some people just wish they could do that to themselves to end the misery of their lives in cubicles. *sigh* Such a great game, it made my night!

I have sooo much crap to do as well: get my permit, fix my laptop, study my lines for Tapestry (the reason I'm leaving early), finish that book and various other things. Being that lists organize my life, I have about 10 of them on my computer and I need to start checking off tasks soon. Mostly, just the ones that relate to school.

The week of August 11th- my reflection post (will probably be a REALLY long one). I'm looking forward to writing it too! Until next time though...

Oyasumi!

>__<

I think my posts are starting to relate less to Loli...no! I did recieve a country "pseudo-loli" dress from my sis that I love to death but, in terms of getting a REAL skirt and petti, I must continue to badger my poor Okasan because her short-term memory is a lil messed up due to the cocktail of meds these damn people give her. It really breaks my heart but, as long as she's still with me, right?

Harry Potter and Rocky Horror

Tue, 24 Jul 2007 05:09:50 GMT

*sigh* I just got back from Boston yesterday...it was soooo nice to see Varun and Maysoon and spend some time with them outside of Cornell. So these were the highlights of our weekend:

Friday- arrived in Boston at 1:30pm and went to eat at Uno's, where the staff was dressed in Potter attire (really cute and fun!) and had some damn good pizza (gotta love that buttery crust :-)
Then, we went to Varun's room to drop our crap off and met his Italian roomie.
Harry Potter Festival time arrived! The streets of Harvard Square were closed and were transformed into Diagon Alley- complete with 4 bookstores selling the final book at midnight, restaurants with Potter-themed cuisines and Honeydukes Candy Shop (?). There were also TONS of cosplayers- it was like Otakon: Harry Potter Style.
We went to the main concert which featured Harry and the Potters and Draco and the Malfoys (I like them better), it was rather cute and fun. At 1am, we definitely waited on a short line (it had severely died down by then) and bought the long-awaited last book. Although I cant read it yet (I am severly behind, 1.5 books to be exact, shame on me), I'm still glad that I got it!

Saturday- we went to the dining hall (not that great lol) and went to their Natural History Museum, which was really interesting and rather fun! Had dinner in Baltucci's, which was really yummy and went to different shops in the square. I spent most of my money on food but I found this anime store and stocked up on Pocky and snacks. I even bought a poster of Kuchiki Byakuya.
Saturday PM- the highlight of our weekend= THE ROCKY HORROR PICTURE SHOW!!! It was truly amazing! I must see the one where I live before I return to college. I recommend it to anyone. I dressed up in psedo-punk loli and just had a blast. It was awesome, especialy with Maysoon there reciting the audience participation script lol!

Sunday- we bid our farewells and returned to our oridnary lives... :-(

This weekend was really fun and relaxing. I enjoyed it quite a bit and am glad that I went. Time to catch up on Harry! lol

Oyasumi! >__<

I'm just a sweet transvestite from transexual Transylvania!

Boston

Fri, 20 Jul 2007 07:35:59 GMT

Looks like I am going to Boston tomorrow...I already knew this but, o well thought I would share. I really should be asleep so this will be short post. I'm just soooo excited that I'm going to see Varun and Maysoon and just have a blast. My sis told me to give up my job search so this gives me time to actually relax. Yea! I still feel like I kind of wasted this period of time though...but I did look for job day in and day out so nobody cant say I didnt try. My best friend and all his friends are going to Otakon, which I wanted to go to but I didn't have my outfits ready in time. There's always next year and how times can one go to a Harry Potter festival with a free concert??? Sees like a good settlement to me! I shall be a casual-punk-pseudo Loli tomorrow and I will enjoy myself!

Oyasumi

>__<

Sleeeep -__- zzz

Thu, 19 Jul 2007 05:11:43 GMT

I am FINALLY going to be on a pretty normal sleep schedule after tonight...because I woke up really early today my body is extremely tired at the moment and now I can sleep with more ease and wake up at a decent hour.
My interview went well today but if I am appointed, I will have to deny the position because I feel guilty and there is no point in me trying to find a job. I will just have to tell EOP the truth- I did not do anything this summer but look for a job without ANY success but I still managed to save the SSE because of my loving and caring sister, who definitely saved my ass!
I got another job offer so I must wait for them to contact me tomorrow, all I will be doing is laundry anyway. I'm leaving to Boston on Friday for the Harry Potter festival and other activites. I can't wait to see my friends and have some fun! Another thing I must do is call Dell about this damn computer screen because it's breaking AGAIN! I also have an awful pain in my foot...its quite debilitating. *sigh*
Maybe some rest will make my life better...so much for some good ol' R & R...I just ended up getting stressed out again over NEW things....omg! What the heck am I going to do???

SLEEEEEEP!

Oyasuminasai!

>__<

Pie (just like my RHD made, well sort of)!

Wed, 18 Jul 2007 00:52:54 GMT

A blueberry-colored font- perfect for the journey I embarked on last night. So...I decided- "why not try and bake something, you know, to perfect those lousy cooking skills of yours?" I made....a de-licious blueberry cream cheese pie ;-) It was soooo good, everyone in my family loved it, even my Okasan- who despises blueberries. My inspiration was the fact that my RHD made one for my dorm this past semester, so I thought I would revist that wonderful day when I had my first taste of real pie and it was a SUCCESS!!! I'm just really proud of myself that I overcame sheer laziness and did something that I normally wouldn't do.

Tonight I'm actually going to cook a meal for myself as well, normally my sister does this for me, so now I will put myself in her position and see if I can cook well. I also plan on conducting some research on aspects of Japanese culture and langage that I saw in a film today (can't remember the title). I have an interview tomorrow with a Japanese restaurant as-a-matter-of-fact. Hopefully it will go well, even though I will not work there very long to begin with (if I am hired) and it would be a dream come true as well! In the event that I do recieve a position, I will work with sooo much dedication that my very temporary stay will not be evident and hopefully, my position will remain for my return in the winter and summer.

I sit here, watching my inspirational show (God definitely put this show on the air as a sign of my true calling in life), On the Lot, and wonder if I can actually be successful in this field of work. Film has always been a passion of mine, considering it comes up in conversation everyday of my life (my Mom is a HUGE film buff). I love determining the deeper messages that writers and sometimes, the directors, put in the film and trying to make sense of them. I just hope that I will be able to that when it comes time for me to direct a film. I should start practicing now! If only I had a better camera...but at least I have one right?

This semester will definitely be a MUCH better one for me...I'm starting on the right foot, I'm looking forward to all of my classes and now I will actually get to explore what exactly I want to do in life. I know I say I want a career in film now, but look what happened to the girl who was dead set on becoming a veterinarian- she changed her mind like the stereotypical college student she said she was not going to be. Maybe I can combine both interests- become a documentarian for the Discovery or National Geographic Channel. I would get to travel, see animals and carry a 16mm camera around with me! Sounds good to me! I always watch those channels and learn something new and interesting. That also encompasses my other goals in life: spread knowledge and messages through the use of film. Awesome! I'm on my way to discovering my dream career. Although, it definitely won't be lucrative, I will still enjoy what I'm doing and I could always have another job on the side. :-)

I was also watching Mad Mad House, which is a reality show about people with alternative lifestyles. One dude is a vampire! I think that is friggin awesome and I also love how all of them are soooo dedicated to living in a certain way without falling subject to the mundane and ordinary lifestyles of the rest of society. It made me think...maybe I should alter my lifestyle to make it better! Being that I am very in love with Lolita fashion, I never took the lifestyle into consideration. Even though I have a pseudo-loli outfit and am still waiting for my Okasan to fork up the $$$, who says you have to dress Lolita immediately in order to behave as one. I plan on improving my manners and maybe not doing the wild and crazy things that I did last semester. I won't give up partying altogether, I will just do so in moderation. I should also try and stop using the obscene amount of profanity that I do- its not lady-like and its not attractive either. I MUST stop biting my nails as well...its a horrible habit and I need to stop my madness...lol!

My hands are getting really tired and there aren't many more thoughts that I want to spill from my head and onto this comptuer screen.

Until next time,

Konban-wa!

>__<

Yummo! BTW, not my pic...but similar! ^__^

Transformers and the Phoenix

Sat, 14 Jul 2007 05:35:11 GMT

Yesterday, I went to the movies and saw Order of the Phoenix...what's sad is that I basically was confuzzled throughout some of the film because I didnt read the entire book! Stupid me! I already knew what was going to happen but it would have been nice to know the rest of the story...
Still no job! I might as well give up as I am leaving to go back to school in a month. So sad...I really wanted a job to make some extra $$$ for myself...at least I have a savings account for my SSE, otherwise I wouldve been assed out BIG time! Thanks to my sis! I'm sooo grateful to have them both in my life, without them I would probably be in foster care and on the verge of suicide...
Anyway, I also saw Transformers not too long ago...excelllent movie! I hope that I can bring my films to life like Michael did...when I actually become a director that is. -__~
Despite not having a job, Ive been relaxing and trying to enjoy my summer by playing Guitar Hero II, reading and going on little trips around NYC and out of state.
I'm actually going to Boston next weekend for the Harvard Harry Potter festival- should be wicked awesome!
I cant wait to go back to school to see my friends and start the semester on a new, better foot!
I'm pretty tired...considering the fact that Ive become nocturnal and still try to manage being diurnal at the same time.

Time to go to la-la land...hopefully filled with cookies and Lolis. lol!

Oyasumi!!! :-)

Bumblebee- my fav Transformer

Would have been better...had I read the darn book! Will continue to get through the spine of it tomorrow!!!

Full Metal Alchemist

Tue, 03 Jul 2007 06:09:43 GMT

Finally, after months of waiting, I got to watch Full Metal Alchemist.
Yeah, so I am behind but at least I'll get to see what all the hype was about.
Now, I am watching Inuyasha, the first *real* anime I ever watched.
I feel like I'm always seeing the same episodes...o well, I dont mind, I love the show too much, I wonder what its like in Japanese...??? hmm...
I played Guitar Hero II todaym even Shanti (my sister) played. I think its finally something that we can bond over...considering the fact that we havent done much of it since Okasan got sick.

Obasan brought a frightening reality to my attention- what if my Mom decides to give up on life soon?
Last night my Mom had an anxiety attack and kept saying how she wanted to be with her Mom (Grandma, who's deceased). She also said how tired she was of being in her hospital room, which has been about 5 years now. This evening, me and Shanti were talking and she said, "I dont want Mom to still have the will because of us, I want her to be living for herself."
This struck me as true, lets say my Mom, at this moment, God forbid, is thinking, "I cant take it anymore, but if I let go, then my daughters will be alone and wont be able to survive without me."
No doubt, we will be alone, but we would be strong enough to live without her being present. Of course, it would be hard but, why should she have to suffer at our expense. I must try my best to spend as much time with her as possible and actually give her a reason to live.

That is my goal from now on...

On a lighter note, I must go to Long Island tomorrow afternoon to check out a job opportunity...as a bartender!
Looks like I'll be living the life as one of those chicks in Coyote Ugly...maybe.
I'm sort of nervous, but I have confidence.

Anyway,
There's not much else to say but, I do hope that my Mom/mi madre/okasan will get better soon, I dont want to see her go. I'll be lost...I wouldnt know what to do...

Oyasumi -__-

Noggin

Mon, 02 Jul 2007 05:00:53 GMT

I sit here, watching Noggin's premieres: Degrassi and The Best Years, eating cookies like a fat bitch and wondering... wtf mate?
I love how the second show is about college (in the Ivy League...amazing, it better show the WHOLE truth too!) and actually portrays it pretty well in terms of, the crazy guys, the immaturity, insane parties and how there is still an element of "high school-ness" that exists.
I also love how Degrassi showed that college is NOT that easy and there is definitely TONS of work involved. I can relate to both shows, so I am enjoying myself and reflecting on this past year. I just hope that I dont have a nervous breakdown like Paige did.
I shall eat my cookies, look for more Loli clothes, read Harry Potter for a bit and then take my butt back to bed.
Today was a long day that began taking a turn for the worse but slowly got better. I hope my Mom gets better soon, I think her situation is becoming too much for her...it kills me so much inside to hear her cries of pain, knowing that there is absolutely nothing that I can do...
All I can and will do is keep praying and hoping that my Mom will be cured and that my life will go back to normal and be ten times better than it is now.

Until next time,

Oyasuminasai -__- zzz

Baltimore

Thu, 28 Jun 2007 05:30:25 GMT

So....As of now, I am in Baltimore with my sister, who has to go to a conference over the next two days. We're staying with my aunt and cousins and I am really wising that this could be the wonderful weekend of Otakon. >-(
I did dress up in "pseudo-Loli" as I call it, as my skirt is a few inches above the proper length and is not pouffy enough to wear with a petticoat, but I think I made it work.
These few days of down time, I shall dress how I feel- like a Harajuku girl (not Gwen Stefani's chics, even though I think theyre pretty awesome!)
Just finished watching the most recent episode of Bleach, which was decent. I shall not slip and give away what happens. ^__^
I had a delectable piece of strawberry shortcake for dessert today. It was soooo yum!
I must go on a diet or do sit-ups because the infamous freshman fifteen definitely got to me...nooooooooooo! It shall be fixed and I will go back to normal- fast metabolism to the point where I can eat almost anything...but I wont do that because it will probably slow down again. Its only slowed down a bit so...Im still good.
Still been looking around for Loli clothes so I can tell my okasan the grand totals...so far I've found decently priced stuff. I'm not looking too much into the name brands at the moment (that's what my b-day and x-mas are for, considering the fact that I NEVER get cheated)
But, for now this is the number one item on my crowded mind:

As for tomorrow, I want to dress really random, maybe similar to this:

Well, not exactly but with the random bit in mind.
Til next sunrise,

Oyasuminasai! -__- zzz

PS. BTW, why does it ALWAYS seem like I'm on a couch everyday of my life, its not true, I do move around...A LOT!!! >P

Adventures...at home!

Wed, 27 Jun 2007 06:27:00 GMT

I'm being pretty girly with all my color schemes...but it will eventually come to an end.
Today, was not an early day thank goodness but tomorrow (or today actually) is... I will be on my way to Baltimore to see my cousins and stuff (not to Otakon )-:)
When my sister left for her date today, I decided, why not make a Loli accessory, specifically a hair bow and to my success, it came out pretty nice. Cant wait to show it off tomorrow. woot!
I also decided to let Lorenzo, my snake, out for some stretching time and of course, the evil thing decides to crawl into my couch, so I had to flip the darn thing over and somehow grab him out of it...*sigh* Pythons are definitely more trouble than they're worth. But he's still the coolest! :-)
As soon as this episode of Degrassi is done, I must finish packing, shower and be off to get some beauty sleep.
I am soooo glad that within the past year, I have discovered myself...in many ways:

1) My sense of style- although only executed on certain occasions, I love when I wear what I want and feel good in it. All I need is a wardrobe makeover, which I started during college. My Loli clothes will be the icing and strawberry ^__~ on the cake!
2) What I shall do in life- making interesting movies, probably documentaries and indies
3) Food- I've totally stepped out of my comfort zone and now I am willing to try anything.
4) Physical activites- SNOWBOARDING= biggest accomplishment and discovery! along with horseback riding and other stuff.
5) Finding truer friends that love me with all my quirks and flaws and that dont put me down because of jealously- Varun, Maysoon, Pamela, Lily, Magee, Hannah (Alex of course, but he existed for awhile and so has Alexis)

Tomorrow is going to be a wonderful pseudo-Loli day with my okasan and obasan. I'm looking forward to it too!
Til then,

Oyasuminasai!

My snowboard, sexy eyes!

In addition, last night I watched some of "Magnolia" and heard the funniest and most ridiculous statement of my life:

I hope no man follows this load of crap...*sigh* >P

yawn! part ni

Tue, 26 Jun 2007 05:47:38 GMT

Here, we go again!
Procrastination!!! Just like during school... I'm just addicted to the internet and anime, I dont even care what type of anime it is...its still anime. As long as there is a cartoon that was created in Japan, on my tv screen, I will remain content and VERY distracted...tsk tsk. I also know that I have to get up REALLY early, yet I still stay here. Glued to the couch, like a bum.
I've come to realize that having a journal is quite liberating, considering the fact that I do own many, just all them unfininished. :-(
I'm too tired to actually express the many things on my mind, as it would take a loooong time to get it all out of those brain crevices and I must prepare for a decent night of rest.
I'm just excited about this journal thing and that I am making good progress in my Lolita transformation. All that remains is getting the $$ from my okasan and not telling either of my onesan.
Now, I shall dream sweet, soothing amarori dreams, maybe Mana will be in one who knows...only if I am granted such peaceful thoughts...

Til next time,

Oyasuminasai ^__^

This is the dress that I desire, as an amarori wardrobe starter:

My okasan says its cute and she would love to buy it for me...I CAN'T WAIT!!! woo hoo! Yatta!

Yawn!

Tue, 26 Jun 2007 05:12:04 GMT

*sigh*

Of course...tonight is the night when I must relinquish my nocturnal habits in order to go to bed at a "normal time." My sister says "You should stay with mom (which I don't mind)...all day tomorrow because we're going away for a few days..." Okay, so I get the point but, WHY does it have to be at 8 in the bloody morning??? I mean, I may sound selfish and all, I love my mom and all but all (that's a lot of "alls" isn't it???) I'm going to do is fall asleep bc its soooo early in the morning and I definitely will not be able to concentrate...

As a treat for beloved okasan, I plan to dress in Loli (my pseudo-outfit though) for her on Wednesday, the day of my departure to Baltimore, MD. Hopefully she will enjoy, I may even have a tea party with her, as she is very open to everything that I do.
Anyway, I MUST shower, stop watching Inuyasha and take my Loli-self to bed...

Nighty, night!